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Check Your Child’s Sleep Before You Worry About Behaviour

If your child is struggling with behaviour, big emotions or focus, sleep is the first place to look. In this video Donna explains how tiredness shows up as “bad behaviour”, the signs that sleep is the real issue, and what to change first.

Breaking Generational Patterns; Conscious Parenting

Breaking Generational Patterns; Conscious Parenting

Explore how conscious parenting can strengthen your connection with your children, your partner and yourself. Donna Moala and her RISE coaching colleagues discuss emotional regulation, parts work and breaking old relationship patterns, with honest reflections on building family relationships through self-awareness, compassion and clear boundaries.
  • June 14, 2026
Conscious parenting starts with understanding yourself. Noticing your triggers and familiar reactions gives you more choice in how you respond to your children and partner. Old patterns can show up in present relationships. Experiences from childhood can influence how we handle conflict, seek connection, take control or pull away. Emotional regulation takes practice. Paying attention to your body can help you recognise when you need to pause before continuing a difficult conversation. Parts work encourages curiosity rather than self criticism. The episode explores how different parts of us may try to protect us through anger, people pleasing or withdrawal. You can focus on your own choices without taking responsibility for someone else’s behaviour. Personal growth may influence a relationship but it cannot guarantee another person will change. Connection and firm boundaries can exist together. Understanding someone’s feelings does not mean putting your own needs aside. Stronger relationships are built through ongoing awareness, honest communication and repair. The aim is to keep learning and reconnecting rather than expecting perfection.

Chapters

Conscious Parenting: Breaking Patterns in Family Relationships

Have you ever heard yourself reacting to your child or partner and thought, “Why do I keep doing this?” You might promise yourself you will stay calm, only to find the same argument happening again. Conscious parenting begins with getting curious about these moments and understanding what is happening within us.

In this episode of The Parenting Collective podcast, I’m joined by Lauren Dry, founder of RISE Into Regulation and our fellow RISE head coach from Belgium. Together, we share an honest conversation about conscious relationships, emotional regulation, parts work and the patterns we bring into family life.

Drawing on professional knowledge and personal experience, we explore how understanding ourselves can support stronger connections with our children, partners and ourselves. This is a conversation about creating room for different choices without expecting ourselves to get everything right every single day at home.

How Conscious Parenting Starts With Self-Awareness

Conscious parenting invites us to look beyond our child’s behaviour and notice our own responses. When our children push back, refuse a request or express big feelings, it can stir something familiar within us.

We discuss how experiences from our younger years can influence the way we communicate, handle conflict and respond to the people we love. Recognising these patterns gives us an opportunity to pause and choose how we want to show up today.

Understanding Parenting Triggers Without Shame

Noticing your triggers is not about blaming yourself or your parents. It is about recognising what feels difficult and approaching yourself with honesty and kindness.

Perhaps being ignored brings up a feeling of not mattering. Maybe disagreement makes you want to take control or withdraw. Understanding these reactions can help you respond with greater awareness while still holding clear boundaries.

Emotional Regulation in Parenting and Relationships

Knowing what to say can feel very different from being able to say it during an argument. Many parents have read the books and listened to the podcasts but still struggle when everyone is tired and emotions are running high.

We explore nervous system awareness and somatic practices, which bring attention to what is happening in the body. Noticing tension, a racing heart or the urge to defend yourself can become a reminder to slow down.

Creating Space Before You React

Emotional regulation does not mean feeling calm all the time. It involves learning to recognise your feelings and finding ways to respond without letting those feelings make every decision.

That might mean pausing, taking a breath or returning to a conversation when you can listen more openly. Small changes can create opportunities for clearer communication and repair.

What Is Parts Work?

Our conversation introduces parts work and Internal Family Systems, often called IFS. This approach offers a way of understanding the different responses we notice within ourselves.

You might recognise a part that tries to keep everyone happy, a part that wants control or a part that pulls away during conflict. We discuss approaching these protective responses with curiosity rather than criticism.

Understanding Yourself With More Compassion

Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?” we explore asking, “What might this part of me be trying to protect?”

This shift can support a kinder relationship with yourself and help you notice familiar reactions.

Building Connection With Clear Boundaries

Conscious relationships involve both connection and personal responsibility. Lauren shares her experience of stepping away from trying to change her partner and focusing on her own patterns, choices and boundaries.

We discuss how this individual work can influence parenting, co-parenting, friendships and marriage. It cannot guarantee another person will change but it can help us become clearer about our own needs and responses.

Listen to this episode for a warm conversation about conscious parenting, family relationships and learning to trust yourself. Explore The Parenting Collective for more parenting support or book a 15 minute chat with Donna to discuss your family’s needs.

 

“When you bring that trust into any space, but also the firm boundaries.” — Lauren Dry
Donna Moala Conscious Parenting Coach
What if the same patterns and cycles showing up in your relationships aren’t the problem, but an invitation to understand what is under them and work towards healing. In this powerful and heartfelt conversation, Donna Moala is joined by two incredible women she is fortunate to call both colleagues and dear friends: Lauren Dry – ‪@The.Connection.Catalyst‬, founder of RISE, and Lieve De Lint, psychologist, educator, and head coach based in Belgium. Together, the three of them support people around the world inside RISE, helping individuals and couples navigate relationship challenges, heal old wounds, strengthen connection, and create healthier patterns for themselves and their families. In this episode, they explore: ✨ How to break toxic and unconscious relationship patterns ✨ What it means to build a conscious relationship ✨ Nervous system awareness and why it matters in love and parenting ✨ Parts work and understanding the different parts of ourselves ✨ Healing childhood and generational patterns ✨ Showing up with greater awareness, intention, and authenticity ✨ The connection between conscious relationships and conscious parenting ✨ How healing ourselves can transform our marriages, families, and lives This conversation is filled with wisdom, compassion, and lived experience. Whether you’re navigating challenges with your partner, working on yourself, or simply wanting deeper and more connected relationships, this episode offers hope and practical insights for the journey. If this episode resonated with you, we’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Keep reading

Hello and welcome to this week’s episode. Super excited about this recording. I was joined by two amazing women who have had a really big impact
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on my life professionally and personally and who I’m lucky enough to now call dear friends. So we were in Sydney in
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March for 10 days on business and we just decided to do it.
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leave came from Belgium. Lauren came from Perth with me and we had done a lot of work together via Zoom and became close that way, but hadn’t spent a lot
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of time in each other’s personal space and we just went, “Yeah, let’s do this.” So, it could have turned out horribly wrong, but it was one of the most amazing 10 days experience with two
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women I’ve had in a very long time in regards to conversations. Oh my gosh, so many amazing things and the bond that we created in that time. Deep
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conversations, lots of laughs, and on very much the same wavelengths.
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So Lauren is the founder of Rise and she’s an incredible woman behind it’s a conscious relationship parenting program mostly conscious relationship is where I
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a head coach in that space and alongside with leave who is in Europe she’s a psychologist a coach and educator and very much has the understanding of human
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behavior relationships and you know the inner world so both powerful and practical and she um works from Belgium there as another head coach in the space
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together the three of us work inside rise supporting people all around the world as they are navigating relationship challenges healing patterns
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strengthening connection and you know really moving towards becoming their most authentic and really fulfilled version of themselves and it’s work that
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sits at the heart of everything we do and also the heart of everything I was doing before I was even a head coach in Lauren’s space and we really just love
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what we’re able to do to support family save marriages oh the list is goes on and on so Lauren and us combined. I feel
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like that we just blend this really nice lovely heartfilled experience like expertise and wisdom but also using lived experience. So like when we work
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with families and or not families but people it goes beyond our and their professional knowledge you know as we have become so close we just do
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everything with our heart and people really feel that. So in this episode we really dive into the conscious relationships. I talk about conscious parenting as all goes hand inand nervous
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system awareness parts work. Again, you may never have heard of that before. We talk about that healing old patterns. So that generational patterns, patterns
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that we’ve created over our lives from younger years and what it truly means to actually show up in our lives now aware,
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conscious and intentionally for our lives now today and for our families. So whether you’re navigating challenges with your partner, simply with yourself, with other relationships, with children.
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So I know there will be moments in this conversation that I really think will support you and make you feel very hopeful. and then want to come and check
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out the space in Rise where you’ve got all three of us supporting you and you know getting to that really great space of life. So let’s jump in. Hope you love
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it just as much as we did and we’d love to hear your feedback. Speak to you soon.
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Welcome my beautiful friends, ladies to the parenting collective podcast. So excited to have you. Thanks for being here. So I’m going to firstly introduce
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yourselves Lauren dry le dint sounds like a chocolate and a little bit of a background of why I’ve got you beautiful
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ladies in here is that we work as head coaches for Lauren’s space in rise which is I’ll get Lauren to talk a little bit
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about that and it’s no coincidence that we have found each other and what we sort of the goodness that we create together I think and of understanding of
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each other and how we met and everything but what I’d like to do is individually usually ask a little bit about your lives and why you do the things you do
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and how you got there. So Lauren, I’d first ask you being the founder of Rise into Regulation um connection catalyst
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leave and I work with as your head coaches. So Lauren, can you please share with us how you found yourself creating
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rise being a mom marriage and helping people throughout the world with their relationships?
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So for me, I think with a lot of people who have their own businesses, particularly serviceled businesses, it starts at home and my marriage fell
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apart. I had two young kids and I found myself not only frustrated, heartbroken,
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and just feeling completely isolated and debilitated over the situation. I felt
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almost like a failure because I had done everything I was supposed to do which is explain so explain some of the
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modalities that you felt like you had implemented or that led to the space of loneliness of like my marriage is not working. It wasn’t like you just
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obviously were in it and you just decided that it was over. You sounded like you had done many other modalities.
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So can you sort of talk into that a little bit? Yeah. I mean, when I say I’ve done everything, I think anyone who has gone through this either transition
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phase of their marriage where it evolves into something new or separates, they relate to how much we throw into it. Nobody walks away from a marriage lightly. I’d done individual therapy.
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We’ve not done couples therapy. I’ve been on retreats. All of the books. I was also highly qualified human behavior analysis in
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anything to do with the study of the human mind. I was obsessed with and still I found myself with the one
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relationship in the world that I needed to be okay. I needed to be able to go home and feel okay. It was falling apart and I had two young kids and I felt like
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I’d let them down. But then what happened was I stumbled across my first mentor who was a specialist in the unconscious mind. And I started working
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with him originally just so that I wouldn’t end up as another statistic.
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You know, with my second marriage, if I was lucky enough to be married again, having a higher chance of ending than the first and you know, I’m quite literal. I’m quite have quite a logical brain.
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So for me, this it was just common sense. I had to work on myself. But it wasn’t okay. and what you had already implemented or what you had already tried wasn’t working.
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Something that I have a skill set with is a strong recognition of patterns.
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So recognizing that I’d set myself as a pattern to repeat the same cycle. I just I wasn’t having a bar of it. Uh so when
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I started working with my mentor, what I understood was that 95% of our relationships, our behaviors, our decisions,
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they all come down to the unconscious mind and the hidden patterns underneath.
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And I started working on that and really strangely what began as a co-parenting relationship. We’ve got to just be friends. We’ve got to get along brought us back together and that was beautiful.
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But it began with me and that was very freeing. Originally it was I had a lot of resentment over doing the work with the problem.
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I know that’s into that a little bit. As women, we’ve had fantastic conversations and authentically having these
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conversations, but we often as women go, we’re doing the work. like it’s we’re dragging them along. But I often say,
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well, you know, it’s it’s the journey is trying to be the best version of yourself.
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And if that accidentally brings you back together, that’s fantastic. But actually, it was the work that you started that was able to get you back together. Yeah.
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Yeah. Yeah. And and I think it was it can have a shadow side and a light side.
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And the shadow for me was just being in a stage of taking all the tools and being so determined that if I knew what I was supposed to do and I just, you
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know, beat our relationship like a dead horse, you know, eventually he would just get it. Sure.
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But that element of, you know, having surrender but also trying something new because this is new science very much. And it’s it’s fascinating
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about what actually becomes possible when you’re not at the mercy of your trauma patterns. Totally. You know, the programming that you know used to keep
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you safe can actually create these dynamics in relationship and continue with other relationships, not even just your marriage, friendships, parenting,
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all of that. Totally. So, asking a bit of a personal question though, what was sort of the time frame of that? So, you know, you were living apart, were you?
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Or you were still living in the same house? So we did have a short period of living apart and then again for the kids the transition smoothly and being in
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that season of just surrender. We’ll work out all the details as we go. We were in the same house. Great. And then
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through that period of just repairing a friendship and being able to co-parent well my husband just started to recognize
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changes his own well he recognized changes in me but I talk about this on the podcast with my husband where he had space. So it was no
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longer okay this is what you’re doing wrong or this not intentionally trying to fix him.
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That’s right. there was enough space for him to say, but there also wasn’t this the cycle to feed into again. So, he wasn’t able to break his toxic cycle
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because his focus was on everything I was doing wrong. I wasn’t able to break my cycle cuz I was just focused on everything he was and your parents as well, you know, like that’s the hardest thing, isn’t it? When you’re
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It is. And you’re exhausted and you’re depleted and you’re trying to put on a good show for the kids. We all do, you know, we love them and we want them to be okay. And but I think that
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accountability, that self accountability first of I just want this to be okay no matter what relationship I’m in, even if it’s just a relationship with my kids because everything is an overflow. And
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then eventually my husband came to me and and said, you know, I know things have really really shifted. He asked to be referred to someone who could help
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him because some one of the familiar dynamics in our relationship was that I would constantly either be trying to coach him or tell him what to do and I
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just let go of the res you know and and trusted that he would either you were looking after yourself you know like going on that journey as well. So
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that’s the thing that we talk about being in that rise space is when we’re helping coach and the reason I wanted us all in this one space because we are all love each other but we’re we are
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coaching people all over the world around this. So I think the connection that we’ve all had, us three have had together also
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really supports people in the space in the right space, isn’t it? You know, it really does. And I think there’s that added element of just having faith that
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without that tight need for tight control, life will flow. Life will support you.
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And I feel like the tight control is always from our fear.
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Cuz if we let go too much, then what the hell’s going to happen, isn’t it? You know, like that’s the biggest thing.
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And so you’ve got two little ones. M um and how old were they when that was sort of happening? Were they quite young or
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They were quite young. My son maybe was three. It’s a lot.
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Yeah. My daughter was 2 and a half years older than Yeah. So you know like again we also in that space don’t talk. We deal with not
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just people with parents or even couples like individual unique Yeah.
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journeys isn’t it? And also in the rise to regulation space Morgan supports the men individually sometimes too. So it’s
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not just about women. Yeah, totally. So, if anyone knows, if any of you listen know anything about anxious avoidant patterns, my husband is your typical
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avoidant or I like to call him a healed avoidant.
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He was so blown away by the work that he got his certification. He’s become a men’s leader in that space. I love that. I love that.
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You know, the ripples that continued to come from that just from me stepping into my ask him and force him. It was like a really organic thing.
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Yeah. And what I do love when I’m when I’m coaching a man by himself. I love that because um you know they’ve taken that first step. So basically one week is
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about relationships and we have group sessions which are great and the other one is private women and private men’s.
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And I think that’s the biggest thing is when I have had individual men that I’ve been coaching there they sometimes say oh this is it’s quite a woman’s group is
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it? And I’m like absolutely not. It’s it’s a unique individual experience you know. So that’s the thing if people are hearing and and a male
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hears this father or husband or just you know being a man it’s for them as well.
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Yeah. Something I like to say on every call that I have with someone who’s first coming to rise as well is that I always say it’s an individual process.
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You know everyone has their own unique patterns their own stories their own things that they’re trying to process.
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And as a consequence of that that’s where the relationship flow comes in when we feel like we have mastery over our own. And I think that that’s amazing. Particularly the men who come
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to Rise always we we have so many conversations about how they just blow us away.
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I love it. And how just having that safe place often is just the first the first step to them feeling like
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their nervous system can downreulate a little bit and they don’t have to be quite so locked in protective and yeah I love that and
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really really love that was a obviously great experience that you’re in the same house and you could see that that’s wonderful but that’s I suppose the beauty of Rise is that’s what you’re wanting for everyone and it doesn’t have
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to be a marriage but just that they can be their authentic real self and and have some really fantastic relationships. Yeah. And have the simplicity back as well cuz the people
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that I work with, they are overwhelmed already. Yeah. Totally.
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They’re completely burnt out. They work at this completely hectic pace because they’re parents as well.
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You know, there’s just no time to think about it.
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Yeah. I think what I felt exhausted by was just obtaining all of this information that didn’t mean a damn
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thing. When I was in the middle of a conversation, I couldn’t go, “Oh, just pause for a minute. I need to go do my meditation to calm down and like so that
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we can to get along better. Um, no, that doesn’t help at all. No, there’s some great modules in that. And then we’ve got Leave who’s amazing.
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She’s from Belgium and she has come all the way from Sydney which was fantastic and talking about our connection and that there’s no coincidences that Lauren
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having two young children and a entrepreneurial businesswoman and uh leave. I’ll let her explain her lovely amazing story, but we all just said,
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“Yeah, let’s go.” And it’s like 10 days away from our family. I’ve never been away from my family for longer than, you know, 4 days. And again, they’re older.
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They can so look after themselves, but it’s just been such a unique, beautiful experience to be in each other’s space.
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I think it really speaks to Rise as well about how natural and special and organic our friendship and our professional working relationship has been.
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I think that there’s nothing that speaks into why we love the Rise process so much because it is about trust.
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Immediately when I first spoke to you, Leif, I trusted I I felt that I was able to trust my gut and obviously the structure
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of you know your professional background as a certified uh neurossychologist and all of those things were really amazing but you know
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the working relationship we have is what’s special and the same with Donna you and I met completely by coincidence twice. Twice
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I think it was in a month at the same table. It was crazy.
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It was divine. It was the divine timing for sure because it was we look back and just giggle because it’s like so beautiful and and it just it goes to show us
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coming together in Sydney for these work events and being able to be blessed to share this space with you both leaf flying from the other side of the world
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crazy together so organic and I think that speaks to everything that we bring to the rise
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space and you bring to your clients all the time is just constantly coming back to that deep sense of trust and that creates ease like this is easy. I just I know we keep going we’re so blessed.
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We’re so blessed and we don’t want to hit people to go oh that’s so sick.
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I know the reason why I wanted to share is this or are they really that close and I really wanted to share it because you know we all love people and the
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human experience but we all didn’t second guess it. So it all happened. We didn’t over plan. Some really funny things have happened. We’re
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a whole week into it and it’s been so beautiful and we just can’t stop talking. And there’s so many things to talk about, but you know, we often will just one of us
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will go, “This is just amazing. We love it.” And Le goes, and I’m not joking. Like I I’m really saying that I really mean it, you know,
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and just we’re just really I don’t know. It’s really hard to explain. And it is really in tune. But why I wanted to share it for you for us
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is that I hope people can hear it through the microphone is that this is what you get in that space with coaching is this love
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of really wanting to support people in this ease as well like you know not ever second guessing yourself drawing the right people to you as well. Totally
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like that happens so naturally. The more organic sorry the more authentic and understanding of your patterns and
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generational patterns and stuff the more you can be your real authentic self when you then you just come to you you just attract the same friendship
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your relationship step up as well and for leave like let you share your story you’re a mom of three young kiddos and and you just have come
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so yes so please share with the audience a little bit of um your background and how you got into all the beautiful things you’re doing and
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yeah I’ve been on just endless search and I could never really put words to it. I studied psychology, did a master in neurop psychology, looked around, met
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some psychologist and thought I cannot be in my early 20s without life experience and do this. At least not I cannot look at myself in the mirror and I’m sure there are great people out
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there that can. I couldn’t. So I went on a whole journey. I I lived in different countries, had very different professions, but psychology always was
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very close to my heart. But what I was missing is the embodiment, the the link to the somatics. It was not still very
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highly focused on cognitive behavior therapy. And I was just missing that that link to the body and being more embodied.
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I’ve definitely been exposed and in very familiar dysfunctional patterns my whole
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life, both external around me and in my head. I could see my thoughts and I I I didn’t like my own mindset. very very
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critical of myself and and I’ve always been trying to work on that in different ways like a lived experience.
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Yeah, very lived experience. So I got uh coach training summatic coach training in San Francisco. I did that in my 30s. I had three kids there.
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I know. And how old are they again? They are five, eight and 10. Busy busy busy. Two boys and and a girl. Yep.
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Yeah. Yeah. So I went co-arenting. Co-arenting. I went through a divorce.
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We had another international move back from the US to Europe and uh so a lot of changes going on.
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Meanwhile, I also was a team coach at the UC Berkeley and one of the head coaches there is an amazing woman. We would go on walks and talk and just like
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we do because you’re just so interested and you’re connected like that.
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Exactly. Because we want to hear about everybody’s liv each other’s lives, you know.
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Yeah. and she started to talk about parts work about IFS therapy and it resonated if therapy.
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Yeah. So it’s it stands for internal family systems and many people talk about it in a different way. It basically says that you’re not one
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thing. You’re made of different parts and all these different parts let’s say your anger part, your addiction part, the managing part, the controlling part,
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they’re all there to protect you and they’re mostly working really hard thinking that they’re alone. Um and they
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are there to protect you from feeling the deeper pain. The exiles we call them mostly pain that is very old, old
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wounds, old childlike selves. So this therapy is very inward focused, very uh focused on the subconscious. During a
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session, most clients close their eyes and you almost go into a meditative state and you have no idea who you met. You cannot plan like most of us have done.
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Subconscious. It’s so deep in there, isn’t it?
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Yeah. and this and it’s it it made a lot of sense to me when I heard about it. It was very effective also for me and it’s it’s very effective in general. So I got
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certified in that and then I found rise as a professional. I was separated and going through divorce
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uh on a personal level but that was what was missing rise having a big pillar of sumatics a huge focus on sumatics too
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parts and understand and parts and breaking the patterns and and seeing relationship as individual work like the relationship is the cherry on
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the cake and if it works you know and it’s we we’ve got lots of amazing clients worldwide and it’s just such a
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joy and I I do often sort of say once I get to know my clients because obviously Lauren’s the queen and we’re we’re the
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head coaches. So we’re we’re given um PE parent individual people as head coaches that they work with us and you know they
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might end up finding out that I’ve got my other business. I said yeah that’s the whole thing is like I absolutely have a fully functioning big business in sleep and
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parenting but I choose to be a coach for Lauren. I love it. I love working with you guys. It’s just so
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beautiful. Yeah, we work just really I think really well together and obviously we’re working for you but you trust us.
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I think that’s the biggest thing explicitly and something that I introduce every time I introduce a client to the platform I introduce the experts that work inside us because
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that’s why you’re in the space not only for your professional expertise but your personal expertise and the passion that you bring and that I saw the way that
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you speak about breaking those generational cycles the ones that we have inherited from our parents and the
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ones that we don’t want to pass on to our kids you know and same for yourself leaf you know the the passion that you have for breaking those hidden patterns
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and the parts integration work that we do inside of Rise that’s so unique.
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It’s all not only a beautiful environment and a safe place to land, but it’s a beautiful connection point
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because of the expertise and the personal love that you have for this work.
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And you know, you’ve you’ve made it your own, which is exactly why it’s so effective. you know, you allow us to,
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you know, for me, you know, like that first six months was like, am I doing it right? And Donna would go, Donna, it’s okay. And and I I haven’t
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worked for somebody for 20 years, you know, I’ve been had my business for 10.
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So, again, I’m saying this because how much I love this space is it’s a choice.
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And um you would just be like, I trust you. And if things hadn’t worked, you know, Lauren’s obviously I’m always learning from Lauren and leave as well
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is like processing it like parenting like, okay, that happened, maybe next time try this. never like oh my gosh you’ve done that and you know I’m I’m so
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used to that peopleleasing naughty not I wasn’t a naughty kid but getting in trouble and so this space is led by you
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and but you’re also allowing us to be our our best versions to support your clients but it’s also you trust us like explicitly
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and and whether it’s the parts work or being having a business like like you’ve built it is all about integrating all
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the sides and by us already having done such work and having gone through our own personal crashes and not pushing
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certain parts of us away but actually shining light on them and trying to understand them. That has created more coherence within each of our own being
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and that also uh invites way more enlightenment outside whether it’s working together where whether it’s finding certain
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friendships uh things will flow more effortlessly because we’re more coherent within ourselves. And that’s that starts with
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being really honest with yourself and seeing just like okay what are my patterns? What is what are my shadow sides? and how are they trying to help
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help me understand them instead of trying pushing them away.
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I think that that’s really important as well. It’s when it comes to thinking about our shadows or our hidden patterns and things like that, there’s wisdom in
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there. And I think that when it becomes less of a, oh, how can we get this part to get out of the way or this, you know,
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shove it down or whatever it is, um, or heal it versus, okay, what we’re working towards integration, which is bringing
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the wisdom of it in together so that our whole system works in trust. And I love how you mentioned there like we can talk about shadows and we can talk about
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mistakes and we can talk about all this but when it comes to that deep simplicity that all of us want to have so that we
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can deeply deeply trust the decisions that we’re making and our intuition and like the unconscious cues that we’re getting from our environment and our relationships all of the time we then
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have the capacity to give that back and it allows other people to be lifted up.
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So for example in a professional perspective my my take is always have I set up a really really good system so
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that the people that I’m bringing into it feel safe feel supported and can have big they feel free and their nervous system is able to just blossom from
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there and the same thing again that I think you’re able to bring to relationships whether it’s professional relationships or any other relationships
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even parenting you’ll be able to speak to this so deeply um when you bring that trust into any space, but also the firm
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boundaries like I’ve built this. It is clear and I trust you if there’s been a miscommunication or a
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mistake to support me in understanding better and maybe like we can shift things together as a team,
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but that doesn’t mean that like the system is broken.
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Absolutely not. And you’re still you’re still the boss. you’re still the queen, you know, but and I don’t mean that in a, you know, and you’re not coming across like that, but it is like what
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we’re talking about with parenting. It’s the same thing. It’s like we still know that it’s your business.
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It’s it’s Rise, but we we want to do so we want to do the best we can for you cuz to honor that. And I know that you teach all the parents inside of Rise, but also in your own community as well.
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When you feel safe and when you have simplicity and you’re able to bring that into like your parenting relationship,
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but also your co-parenting relationships, that’s when things get so much simpler and people can rest and have peace. Everyone gets to sleep.
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I know all of that. And you know, I was talking to Jen before on this podcast.
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She’s a parenting expert and it was same same conversations, you know, like it really comes down to the conscious living. We can label it all we want but
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really it’s just understanding ourselves really shining the light not a diagnosis. So when we start to do the subconscious work in rise I very quickly
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say to the client just you know let’s let’s you know relax and let me lead you but it is not a diagnosis. It’s not to
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frighten you or like oh my gosh. It’s just to shine the light that you can all work together with the parts that we either don’t know are there why we react
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to be able to pause to be able that’s coming. That’s the feeling like the sematics work. Okay, I’m going to pause.
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I’m not going to react when I’m in that argument because I’m sure you can reflect back in the early ages of your marriage stage of your marriage and the way that you would have reacted or
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Morgan reacted and oh yeah, we had a three and a half hour long fight over what we put in the dog bowl. Oh, look 100%. And that was me. I
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was so feisty because I’d grown up seeing something in my parents that I didn’t want to do. And then indirectly I was trying to defend myself and then
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Dave was doing the same thing and we just fight over stupid stuff. But then for me, I was doing the work and like
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pausing, walking away. I I still didn’t have all the understanding what we do in Rise. And that’s why it’s such a good thing to implement to have the tools. I
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don’t have the tools, you know, and and what we resist persists, right?
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It’s also very energetically the more we try to push against something or have something not be there, it still doesn’t create the space to actually transmute
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and transform in a way that’s more organic and more from the inside out instead from the outside in. So, and that’s the best explanation, isn’t it? Inside out, understanding it.
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Yeah.
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Yeah. So, so it’s almost like also with clients like there’s a fear of letting go of of allowing. Okay, there is this tension and I’m not trying to change it.
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Oh, there’s this pattern and I actually if he just hears how to change it and he need then it will change. No, see it.
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Allow it. Not because you want it to continue, but then find ways to set boundaries like there needs to be safety, but in that boundary there is
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space and there is some space to breathe and then it will often transform by itself.
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It sounds like Yeah. So it actually sounds like what Lauren did indirectly.
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So you’ve created a space and what we’re talking about is you were actually just on a journey to heal yourself and grow but indirectly it saved your marriage.
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95% of the outcomes of your relationships the outcomes of your behaviors they are based on the programming in your unconscious mind.
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95% of everybody 95.
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Yeah. And I think that that’s really freeing for so many people feel like they just work so hard so hard so hard and it doesn’t fix it and it doesn’t fix anything. But then
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when you realize that you it gives gives people so much rest. Okay, I can actually take a break. I can focus on
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what’s happening inside and it will have far more of an effect than everything I’ve been striving so hard to achieve.
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And it’s very clear when you meet someone who has unlocked that key.
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Absolutely. you know, even spending the time with you here and I feel like I’ve done so much and I still have to do so much and leave probably the same. But
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the way that you respond to things, I’m like it’s just you’re you’ve really integrated into your life a lot, you
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know, and I take I love it. I love being around it cuz it just reminds me to integrate it more. But I would feel like maybe for other people that are not on
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the path at all, we might feel that a little bit about how I respond to things now because how I respond to things now is very very different than I did 5 years ago.
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Very very different. So it’s on a journey. It’s on that journey of that.
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It’s really about the self-regulation and understanding, isn’t it? Yeah. Slowing down, Donna. Slowing down.
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Donna’s always so fast. Um, so, um, yeah, it’s been an absolute joy to be here in Sydney and I wanted to share
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everybody with you and our journey together because I think together, you know, we obviously very honored to be able to help everybody around the world
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to have that inner peace really. Yeah. And it’s not there all the time that inner peace, but we’re trying to really support people that can be there and the
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understanding for me again working with men and doing those parts which they’ve never done before, not even sort of any subconscious work. And I’ve said to leave a man that’s his go-to was anger
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and he knew it and he was aware and he’s read a lot of things and he’s been to lots of counseling and that parts integration which was really the ego
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protecting and the you know the sort of the younger happy kiddos where he sort of went to he wasn’t crying but when he came out of it
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he was wiping tears so the the body was like oh my gosh cuz I really let him sit with that little boy on the trampoline and that little boy on the trampoline
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bouncing in this colorful trampoline he had not had in his heart for so long. But that that is still there.
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Yes. And this is an actual rewiring like you are rewiring.
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Uh also physically we’re in totally rewiring and and we’re in as we get older and our life gets harder because that’s life.
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We often get harder, you know, and that protective is fullon protecting. So the the joy in life gets to get a little bit dulled out sometimes. So we try and
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bring that back to people. So, you know, and this has been such a joy to have you. We’re all together in the same space, you know, and I think the thing is for us, it could have easily gone
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really bad cuz 10 days in a space together that we don’t really know each other. It could have been hell. Yeah, it could have been.
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But it’s been so beautiful and we just keep telling each other how lucky we are and blessed and it’s really been a beautiful cementing of our friendship to move
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forward to help others, I think. Don’t you feel, you know, like this is just the beginning, girls? Don’t you think?
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Yes. We were talking about the next meet up.
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Yeah, next meet up already yearly. Um, so thank you so much for um your time today and for me to be able to share you
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to everybody and um everything will be in the show notes of how they can find us individually or in the rise space to find out more about
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that because hopefully this has intrigued people. But I just feel like the love that we have for each other is
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the love we want to give to others, you know, and and and that we really want people to thrive in their life. And to spend this 10 days with you guys, it’s
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like, oh my gosh, it’s like I wish I could bottle it, you know? Yeah, we will. So, yeah, we will. So, thank you ladies. Lots of love.
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Thank you, Donna.
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So, if you enjoyed this episode, be sure to leave me a rating and review. I love reading all of your messages, so shoot me a DM over on Instagram. It is parentingcollective.au.
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I also offer a free 15minute no obligation phone chat. If you’d like to book one, head over to my website www.paringcollective.com.au
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and request one there. So try to remember to be kind to yourself and always know you’re doing the best you can every day, no matter what your day is looking like. Until next time, much love.
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